Thanks to Al Gore’s incessant brow-beating, we all now have to be diligent about reducing our “carbon footprint.” Whatever that is. In this new era of heightened global and political awareness, it's nearly impossible to get laid without evincing some active sympathy for the plight of the environment. Especially those baby polar bears clinging to melting iceberg fragments. Have you seen the photos? Devastating. Baby polar bears are super cute, even though everyone knows that their little hearts are full of murder. Anyway, towards this end, I’ve decided to do my part and buy a kegerator.
For those of you who don’t subscribe to All About Beer Magazine, a kegerator is a small refrigerator which cools and dispenses beer from a keg. It’s clearly the best way to enjoy draft beer from the comfort of one’s home.
Beer is a justifiably popular adult beverage. From Kingston to Kuala Lampur, beer is beloved the world over. Well, maybe not in Qatar. The average U.S. citizen consumes 21.6 gallons of beer per year. That increases to 29 gallons per year if you live in Australia and 41 gallons if you reside in the Czech Republic. That’s a lot of beer. Obviously, much of this beer is stored in bottles and cans which are either thrown away or need to be recycled, a process that requires a substantial expenditure of energy. This increases global carbon emission which, in turn, makes Baby Al Gore cry.
The kegerator provides an elegant solution to this environmental dilemma. Thanks to their sturdy design, kegs can be reused a nearly infinite number of times, requiring only a simple cleaning after each use.
If you must continue to drink beer while our Earth is in peril, and I must, confining oneself exclusively to draft beer is the most ecologically sound alternative.
It’s little sacrifices like this that really set one apart in the fiercely competitive game of ecological one-upmanship that all self righteous people must participate in. For instance, when I’m at a party, I will now approach strangers who I see drinking beer from bottles or cans and say, “Oh, you still drink beer from a bottle? Dude, that kind of sucks. Don’t you know how bad that is for the environment?” I will then deliver a short lecture on how their beverage decisions are thoughtless and destructive and then conclude by saying, “So….yeah……you’re welcome.” They might be irritated at first, maybe even violent, but I’m pretty sure that they’ll thank me later. And even though I don’t really understand what carbon is or why it hates our Earth, I can now feel good about myself for helping to save the planet and for being better than other people. Thanks kegerator!
Although our world is getting warmer by the minute, I still expect my beer to be icy cold. You’re welcome, Earth.
For those of you who don’t subscribe to All About Beer Magazine, a kegerator is a small refrigerator which cools and dispenses beer from a keg. It’s clearly the best way to enjoy draft beer from the comfort of one’s home.
Beer is a justifiably popular adult beverage. From Kingston to Kuala Lampur, beer is beloved the world over. Well, maybe not in Qatar. The average U.S. citizen consumes 21.6 gallons of beer per year. That increases to 29 gallons per year if you live in Australia and 41 gallons if you reside in the Czech Republic. That’s a lot of beer. Obviously, much of this beer is stored in bottles and cans which are either thrown away or need to be recycled, a process that requires a substantial expenditure of energy. This increases global carbon emission which, in turn, makes Baby Al Gore cry.
The kegerator provides an elegant solution to this environmental dilemma. Thanks to their sturdy design, kegs can be reused a nearly infinite number of times, requiring only a simple cleaning after each use.
If you must continue to drink beer while our Earth is in peril, and I must, confining oneself exclusively to draft beer is the most ecologically sound alternative.It’s little sacrifices like this that really set one apart in the fiercely competitive game of ecological one-upmanship that all self righteous people must participate in. For instance, when I’m at a party, I will now approach strangers who I see drinking beer from bottles or cans and say, “Oh, you still drink beer from a bottle? Dude, that kind of sucks. Don’t you know how bad that is for the environment?” I will then deliver a short lecture on how their beverage decisions are thoughtless and destructive and then conclude by saying, “So….yeah……you’re welcome.” They might be irritated at first, maybe even violent, but I’m pretty sure that they’ll thank me later. And even though I don’t really understand what carbon is or why it hates our Earth, I can now feel good about myself for helping to save the planet and for being better than other people. Thanks kegerator!
Although our world is getting warmer by the minute, I still expect my beer to be icy cold. You’re welcome, Earth.
1 comment:
Pruno's the most ecologically sound beverage around AND it gives prisoners something productive to do. Win-win.
Post a Comment