The Life You Save May Be Mine

Here's a good reason not to do a public service announcement on safe driving: cosmic irony. This PSA spot never aired because, shortly after it was filmed, James Dean was killed by a reckless motorist. That's cold, universe.

Louis Wain's Impractical Cats

Dangerous Minds has a really fascinating article on Louis Wain, a Victorian era artist and illustrator whose primary subject was anthropomorphic cats. Art historians speculate that Wain, who spent much of his later years in and out of mental hospitals, was schizophrenic. The article highlights the relationship between Wain's descent into mental illness and the increasingly surreal (well, more so) nature of his feline art.

It's a difficult thing to delineate. For instance, these two pieces, created when Wain was considered "sane":

Are only slightly less crazy than the two following:

Alright. I admit that this last one is batshit psychedelic. It looks like a Tibetan mandala or something.

But who's to say which image more clearly demonstrates a disordered mind: a kitten emanating jagged, multi-hued energy lines or a bunch of cats in top hats and monocles having a tea party on the lawn? Both are pretty weird.

I can't even tell which period this one comes from:

Apparently, Nick Cave (yeah!) is a big fan and collector. So is Tracy Emin (boo!). At the end of the article, there's a link for a very short film on Wain that's well worth watching.

If you know someone with a dual passion for cats and the art of the mentally ill, you should probably tell them about Louis Wain.

Two Weeks

Well, that was unsettling. Not as unsettling as, say, that Aphex Twin video where Richard D. James's face is superimposed on all of those booty shaking bikini models, but pretty disturbing nonetheless. CGI facial distortion effects, smiling white guys in bow ties, church: all things that make me uncomfortable. Thanks for freaking me out, weirdos. Still. Good song.

Every Time She Winked, I Thought It Was Just For Me

A variation on Godwin’s Law states that “a good rule in most discussions is that the first person to call the other a Nazi automatically loses the argument.” This is especially true in the context of political discourse in the United States, which, of late, seems to have settled into a new nadir. Wags and pundits on both sides of the aisle habitually compare one another to “fascists” and “Nazis” in their flaccid attempts to deflate and defame the opposition’s policy positions. It’s lazy, puerile and completely unproductive.

So, theoretically, I should be dismissive of this Hitler-invoking pinko knee-jerk liberal propaganda film (a clip refashioned from the excellent German film Downfall). But I'm not. The portrayal of the Fuhrer as a Palin enamored Republican strategist is puerile, unproductive and radiantly funny. The line “That’s what Alaska gets for electing a MILF and not a Stalin!” alone makes it worthwhile. So, yeah, I’m a hypocrite.

Schadenfreude

"Marriage is the cornerstone on which our society was founded. For those who say that the Constitution is so sacred that we cannot or should not adopt the Federal Marriage Amendment, I would simply point out that marriage, and the sanctity of that institution, predates the American Constitution and the founding of our nation. Marriage, as a social institution, predates every other institution on which ordered society in America has relied."

- John Ensign, Republican United States Senator (Nevada)

Ensign, a vocal opponent of gay marriage who voted to impeach then-President Clinton, admitted this week to having an affair with a former campaign staffer, a staffer whose husband worked in Ensign’s Senate office. Awkward! The husband later demanded a large payoff from Ensign, ostensibly in exchange for his silence, which explains the hasty, public confession. Double awkward!

Clearly, allowing gay people to wed would make a mockery of the institution of marriage.

Every Band Should Have A Trumpet

If you enjoy bow ties and earnest, baroque indie pop, then you might like this video:



Until July 4th, Fanfarlo is distributing their stellar album, Reservoir, as a $1 digital download, available at their website.

Graffitistronaut

Awesomely Bad Unicorn Tattoos

There’s something really endearing about a horrendously terrible tattoo. For instance, anything with the Looney Tunes "Tasmanian Devil." Or the motto "Sex, Drugs & Rock &Roll." One could probably fashion an entire blog around this sort of thing.

There’s something far less compelling but slightly interesting about an ironically terrble tattoo. For some reason, winking insincerity makes it that much less enjoyable.

But it goes without saying that tattoos which feature unicorns exist in the rarified, upper stratosphere of either category. The photo gallery "30 Awesomely Bad Unicorn Tattoos" celebrates the amazing art and artlessness of this permanent skin genre.

Tasmanian devil riding a unicorn? Check. Unicorn copulating with a dolphin? Check. But what’s up with the “white power” unicorn festooned with a Nazi armband with rainbows in the foreground? Is that for real? It's on a guy's ass, so I really doubt it. Either way, it’s not that funny. But kind of funny. I’m so confused.

Anyway, when it comes to tattoos emblazoned with beasts of myth, unicorns are clearly the way to go.

Monkeystronaut

"In Huntsville, Ala., there is an unusual grave site where, instead of flowers, people sometimes leave bananas.

The gravestone reads: Miss Baker, squirrel monkey, first U.S. animal to fly in space and return alive. May 28, 1959."

NPR.org pays tribute to the unwilling simian test pilots of NASA’s early, bumbling attempts at space travel. Just kidding. No one has ever been to space. Seriously. No one. Ever.

Read: "After 50 Years, Space Monkeys Not Forgotten"

Floozyball

“If you will it, it is no dream (house)” – Theodor Herzl

I know. Mind-blowing. And what a great message for little girls: you can participate in rough and tumble sports just like the fellas, so long as you do it in a miniskirt and a slinky top. Also, blue eye shadow. No one likes a slouch.

But don’t get too excited. The Barbie foosball table isn’t on the market yet. This model was an exhibit at the International Design Festival in Berlin. That would explain the mostly Teutonic aspect of these lady athletes. Considering how awesomely creepy it looks, it’s probably safe to assume that it was created without the consent of Mattel, Inc.

If they ever do mass market an impaled, armless Barbie foosball table, and they should, I would hope that they would also release a wee little toy version for the rec room in Barbie’s Dream House. I think that it would really tie the room together.

Everything Tracy Jordan Said

30 Rock is one of the most consistently funny shows on network television. If you don’t think so, it’s probably because you don’t enjoy laughing. Possibly because of some kind of injury from a construction site accident that makes it painful for you to do so.

Unlikelywords.com recently posted a lovingly compiled transcript of every Tracy Jordan line from 30 Rock’s second season. It’s a completely rewarding and worthwhile read. For the benefit of those with infinitesimal attention spans, I’ve distilled the transcript down to ten choice lines, arranged in order of air-date chronology:

1. “I hate to see you like this, Ken Doll. It’s like an owl without a graduation cap. Heartbreaking!"

2. “What’s wrong, Ken? You got wife eyes!”

3. “But then he scores a basket even though he’s not a wolf anymore.”

4. “Larry, what everyone needs to do is just take a deep breath, calm down, and start preparing their bodies for the Thunderdome. That is the new law.”

5. “OK. Sorry it took me so long to answer. I was just thinking about how weird it is that we eat birds.”

6. “I had to. Friendship and trust in the entourage is the most important thing. Like that HBO show, John Adams.”

7. “We’re going out tonight, Jacky D, and we’re going to be tempted like Jesus in the wilderness. Jesus is my stereo guy and the Wilderness is a club I took him to once.”

8. “We’re dressing monkeys up as people and monkeys are playing with people as toys!”

9. “I feel like you’re not telling me something, Jack. Let me guess. You bought a sidecar for your motorcycle and your dog won’t stay in it.”

10. “My love child tracked me down. I was shocked, scared, angry. Like a dog in a sidecar when it comes loose from the motorcycle. But it turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me.”

When He Turns Red, Get Under The Bed