30 Rock is one of the most consistently funny shows on network television. If you don’t think so, it’s probably because you don’t enjoy laughing. Possibly because of some kind of injury from a construction site accident that makes it painful for you to do so.
Unlikelywords.com recently posted a lovingly compiled transcript of every Tracy Jordan line from 30 Rock’s second season. It’s a completely rewarding and worthwhile read. For the benefit of those with infinitesimal attention spans, I’ve distilled the transcript down to ten choice lines, arranged in order of air-date chronology:
1. “I hate to see you like this, Ken Doll. It’s like an owl without a graduation cap. Heartbreaking!"
2. “What’s wrong, Ken? You got wife eyes!”
3. “But then he scores a basket even though he’s not a wolf anymore.”
4. “Larry, what everyone needs to do is just take a deep breath, calm down, and start preparing their bodies for the Thunderdome. That is the new law.”
5. “OK. Sorry it took me so long to answer. I was just thinking about how weird it is that we eat birds.”
6. “I had to. Friendship and trust in the entourage is the most important thing. Like that HBO show, John Adams.”
7. “We’re going out tonight, Jacky D, and we’re going to be tempted like Jesus in the wilderness. Jesus is my stereo guy and the Wilderness is a club I took him to once.”
8. “We’re dressing monkeys up as people and monkeys are playing with people as toys!”
9. “I feel like you’re not telling me something, Jack. Let me guess. You bought a sidecar for your motorcycle and your dog won’t stay in it.”
10. “My love child tracked me down. I was shocked, scared, angry. Like a dog in a sidecar when it comes loose from the motorcycle. But it turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me.”
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