All the Presidents' Girls

It’s always kind of weird when Europeans take an intense interest in American history and governance. Take for instance, Alexis de Tocqueville’s On Democracy in America, wherein a curious little Frenchman pokes around the continent for nine months making furtive, creepy comments and predictions about the American form of government in his creepy little notebook. He predicts that the country will be divided by the topic of slavery! A mere twenty years before the Civil War! (Not impressive) He predicts that the United States and Russia will one day be rival superpowers! A full century before it happens! (Very impressive) Sure, On Democracy in America is a classic and is rightly considered one of great contemporary analyses of early U.S. government, but it’s still a bit awkward when people from the old world get all up in our business.

Kind of similar but totally different is English artist Annie Kevans' new exhibition, All the President’s Girls, a series of portraits depicting the various mistresses of the U.S. Presidents. Hands off foreigner, that’s our dirty laundry! The exhibition has been called “mildly offensive” by critics in the U.S. The only thing that I find mildly offensive is that this:













Does not at all resemble this:
An artist with integrity would not have vainly attempted to varnish ugly or unpleasant truths.

I was a bit surprised that the series only features 11 of J.F.K.’s many storied conquests. What about the other 287? I was also surprised by the inclusion of William Rufus deVane King, James Buchanan’s old friend and roommate. Or “roommate,” depending on your interpretation of ambiguous historical evidence. Genocidal cut-up Andrew Jackson allegedly referred to King as “Miss Nancy” and “Aunt Fancy.” What a wit. James Buchanan was the only U.S. President who was unmarried during his tenure in office. He was also the only U.S. President who never married period. On its face, that doesn’t mean anything, but tongues will wag. So what? He preferred the company of men. Who doesn’t?

The only thing about this situation that I find upsetting is that, if we did have a secret gay U.S. President, the person that I don’t want to find it out from is some snarky British art type. You should be ashamed of yourself, Europe. A polite guest does not poke around in other people’s closets, thank you very much.