God Jesus Robot

For all those of you who feel that Christianity is medieval, archaic and fails to address the concerns of our technologic age, I present to you the God Jesus Robot. This brilliant piece of automated religiana was produced by Japan’s Bandai Corporation in the mid 1980’s. As far as I can tell, aside from waving its creepy, white plastic crucifix, all it does is answer your prayers. Or sometimes it refuses your prayers. The person on the box appears to be weeping after receiving a negative response. What was he praying for anyway? It looks like he was petitioning God Jesus Robot for his very own Japanese school girl. I bet God Jesus Robot gets that one a lot.

I was always taught that God answers prayers thusly: 1). Yes, 2). No, or 3). Wait Awhile. This God Jesus is, of course, a robot and can only answer in a binary fashion. Negative? Affirmative! Basically, it’s a blasphemous, battery operated version of the Magic 8-ball.

Now, everyone knows that robots are godless profaners. But what does this product say about the Japanese? Is this what Japanese people think of when they imagine Jesus? They do seem to love their robots. When I try to imagine Jesus, I usually think of Andy Gibb from the Bee-Gees, with that downy, fulsome beard and impossibly glossy long hair. Why didn’t they give God Jesus Robot a beard? I think that a religious robot with a beard would be really funny. Japan must be the most sacrelicious country in the world.