Schadenfreude

"Marriage is the cornerstone on which our society was founded. For those who say that the Constitution is so sacred that we cannot or should not adopt the Federal Marriage Amendment, I would simply point out that marriage, and the sanctity of that institution, predates the American Constitution and the founding of our nation. Marriage, as a social institution, predates every other institution on which ordered society in America has relied."

- John Ensign, Republican United States Senator (Nevada)

Ensign, a vocal opponent of gay marriage who voted to impeach then-President Clinton, admitted this week to having an affair with a former campaign staffer, a staffer whose husband worked in Ensign’s Senate office. Awkward! The husband later demanded a large payoff from Ensign, ostensibly in exchange for his silence, which explains the hasty, public confession. Double awkward!

Clearly, allowing gay people to wed would make a mockery of the institution of marriage.

Every Band Should Have A Trumpet

If you enjoy bow ties and earnest, baroque indie pop, then you might like this video:



Until July 4th, Fanfarlo is distributing their stellar album, Reservoir, as a $1 digital download, available at their website.

Graffitistronaut

Awesomely Bad Unicorn Tattoos

There’s something really endearing about a horrendously terrible tattoo. For instance, anything with the Looney Tunes "Tasmanian Devil." Or the motto "Sex, Drugs & Rock &Roll." One could probably fashion an entire blog around this sort of thing.

There’s something far less compelling but slightly interesting about an ironically terrble tattoo. For some reason, winking insincerity makes it that much less enjoyable.

But it goes without saying that tattoos which feature unicorns exist in the rarified, upper stratosphere of either category. The photo gallery "30 Awesomely Bad Unicorn Tattoos" celebrates the amazing art and artlessness of this permanent skin genre.

Tasmanian devil riding a unicorn? Check. Unicorn copulating with a dolphin? Check. But what’s up with the “white power” unicorn festooned with a Nazi armband with rainbows in the foreground? Is that for real? It's on a guy's ass, so I really doubt it. Either way, it’s not that funny. But kind of funny. I’m so confused.

Anyway, when it comes to tattoos emblazoned with beasts of myth, unicorns are clearly the way to go.

Monkeystronaut

"In Huntsville, Ala., there is an unusual grave site where, instead of flowers, people sometimes leave bananas.

The gravestone reads: Miss Baker, squirrel monkey, first U.S. animal to fly in space and return alive. May 28, 1959."

NPR.org pays tribute to the unwilling simian test pilots of NASA’s early, bumbling attempts at space travel. Just kidding. No one has ever been to space. Seriously. No one. Ever.

Read: "After 50 Years, Space Monkeys Not Forgotten"

Floozyball

“If you will it, it is no dream (house)” – Theodor Herzl

I know. Mind-blowing. And what a great message for little girls: you can participate in rough and tumble sports just like the fellas, so long as you do it in a miniskirt and a slinky top. Also, blue eye shadow. No one likes a slouch.

But don’t get too excited. The Barbie foosball table isn’t on the market yet. This model was an exhibit at the International Design Festival in Berlin. That would explain the mostly Teutonic aspect of these lady athletes. Considering how awesomely creepy it looks, it’s probably safe to assume that it was created without the consent of Mattel, Inc.

If they ever do mass market an impaled, armless Barbie foosball table, and they should, I would hope that they would also release a wee little toy version for the rec room in Barbie’s Dream House. I think that it would really tie the room together.